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sometimes the recurring characters in my life say shit that's sitcom worthy.
I JUST LIKE TO KEEP TRACK OK
I JUST LIKE TO KEEP TRACK OK
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- Terri: wow it smells like weed and axe in here
- Scott: oh my god I'd never wear axe that's like armani and gucci and prada
- Terri: oh I could totally tell
- Dan: stay dangerous
- Dan: I kept the good energy rock and all the writing on the walls, takes me back
- Terri: holy shit I totally forgot about the good energy rock
- Dan: I remember everything. fuck, i've been dumb my entire life
- Terri: it's a good thing, dumb people live a long time
- Nick: that kid is cute, MAKE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND.
- Nick: I wish Laura loved me for more than my cooking and my tits.
- Terri: I used to have this coat with the pockets ripped out of it, so I could keep my weed in the back of the liner.
- Yannick: Oh, I just keep it in my ass
- Terri: Everyone's a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it'll spend its whole life thinking it's stupid.
- Nick: Trust me Terri, it's stupid, it's a fish. It'll spend its life circling the little castle in its fishbowl, not getting a job, not contributing to the household. Hey, let's get a fish. We can name him James Dean.
- Laura: can I come over later?
- Terri: yeah, sure.
- Laura: ok, I'm just closing up the store.
- Terri: ok, I'm just continuing to sit on my ass.
- Eric: Come to McDonald's.
- Terri: No.
- Eric: Here, talk to Alex. (passes the phone)
- Alex: Terri, come to McDonald's and we will give you oral pleasure.
- Terri: ACTUALLY?! ............... wait. you are offering.. to buy me McDick's.
- Alex: Well... maybe.
- Terri: Not my friend anymore.
- Laura: and then Terri was like, "just so we're all aware, I don't swing that way."
- Terri: I didn't want things to get awkward.
- Nick: Well mission fucking accomplished.
- Terri: how's Montreal girl?
- Will: uhm, she's good. (to someone grabbing a tripod) hey, ne touche pas!!
- Terri: I hope you didn't learn that this weekend.
- Will: haha, well, sort of. and "mon petite mouchoir"
- Terri: what does that mean..?
- Will: my little kleenex. works on all the french girls..
- Terri: ....... AHAHAHA
- Grandma: So tell me about your love life?
- Terri: this dude asked me the other day why I'm single. I told him it's because I'm completely insane, and I think he took me seriously.
- Terri: ecch! fucking dudes! get away from me with your open relationship bullshit. I know what that means - you like your girlfriend a whole lot, but yer girlfriend don't like anal. well, we're not gonna be butt buddies. bugger off.
- Eric: how'd your website turn out?
- Taylor: eerrrrrg, well it works, but it looks like a bag of assholes.
- Terri: Taylor how does it feel being my new favorite person
- Terri: eyelids are kind of like foreskin...... for your eyes.
- Ben: in that you can cut them off and nothing happens?
- Terri: and the idea goes back to the drawing board.
